Not to beat about the Bush

The Old Bull and Bush

Location: Golders Green, London

Rating: One star

Golders Green: I've never been there before and I'm not sure I'll be returning if The Old Bull and Bush is the best they've got to offer.

This may seem a little harsh, and I'm sure the people of Golders Green are lovely, but The Old Bull and Bush is to gastro pubs what Wayne Rooney is to football - an utter disgrace.

Based on a recommendation from a colleague(!), last night a friend and I hopped on the bus and headed out of Kentish Town full of high expectations of a cracking dinner.

On arrival, however, we were a little underwhelmed. The place is huge, but unless your taste in decoration leans toward the blandness of magnolia, coupled with painfully boring furniture and a few dismal pencil drawings, then it's hardly inspiring.

But, we thought, the service and food will surely be an improvement. We thought wrong.

A wall of grunts and frowns greeted us at the bar - expressions we couldn't avoid after being stuck in a four-deep queue, thanks to the speed of the staff equally that of a sloth.

Then, after finally finding a table outside, we had a quick scout round the surrounding tables to gauge what the food was like. Not Good.

Sloppy pasta, poorly presented racks of lamb and worse of all....a burnt fillet of beef wellington.

With a sense of disappointment already settling deep into the pits of our stomachs, we then had a look at the menu. And this place isn't cheap. For the beef wellington as it stands, with no sides, is a hefty £25.

With this on our minds we opted for sharing two stonebaked pizzas - which can never be that bad. Right?

Think again.

Soggy, doughy bases covered in bland, flavourless toppings left us both feeling a little queasy. The pizzas were definitely the cheapest option on the menu, as the Margherita (pomodoro, mozzarella, oregano, basil) was only £7.45 and the Alla Funghi Bianco (mozzarella, mushrooms, spinach, raisins, truffle oil) was very reasonable at £9.95. But still, this food was grim. I'd expect better from Camden's all-night burger bars, which rely on their customers being so drunk that their taste buds have stopped functioning.

So by all means form your on opinion about The Old Bull and Bush, but I'd happily put money down that you won't be gnawing at the bone to make a repeat visit.

www.thebullandbush.co.uk

P.S. You'll need patience if you visit their painfully slow website and beware the photos of smiling staff - they must have been models.